Barty Higgins: Approved Neutral — Bureaucratic Grievances

The universe is over budget, and the paperwork is literal.

Barty Higgins is the human equivalent of a beige cubicle. He believes in right angles, short-fiber carpets, and the soothing certainty of a well-formatted spreadsheet. In a world of messy opinions, Barty is proudly, safely, and officially Approved Neutral.

But when a structural crack in a waiting room wall drags him from his corporate desk into the Department of Metaphysical Redundancy, Barty discovers that reality isn't a given—it's an administrative nightmare.

In this office, metaphors have physical mass. Irony causes structural damage. "Heavy stress" can collapse a floor, and the universal emotional budget—known as Angst—is currently redlining at 1,247% toward a total system crash.

Assigned as a Soul Auditor, Barty must process applicants whose identities refuse to fit into tidy boxes: an applicant with a Retroactive Gender, a fox-featured being who is Legally Plural, and a universe that is literally fraying at the edges because no one bothered to file the truth.

As the "Null Variable" for a reality in chaos, Barty faces a terrifying realization: his emotional neutrality isn't just a personality trait—it's a structural anchor. To save existence, he might have to do the one thing he's avoided his entire life.

He might have to care.

Barty Higgins: Approved Neutral is a sharp, satirical fantasy about bureaucracy, identity, and the dangerous comfort of staying within the lines.

Perfect for fans of Terry Pratchett's Discworld, Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Good Place, and Loki.

This is not a quest with swords. It's an audit with consequences.